Thursday, October 13, 2005

If I had A Bush Hammer...

If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning. I'd hammer in the evening, all over this land....

I've always liked that song. But I might add a few lyrics after watching George Bush use a hammer in New Orleans yesterday.

If I had a hammer, I'd show Bush how to hold it. I'd hammer repeatedly, until Bush finally got it. You hold it down by the end, not way up by the head....

Seriously, Bush was holding the hammer up by the head, not toward the end. He sort of looked like some child using one of those toy tool kits. The late night talk shows were having a good time mocking Bush's hammer inexperience. But over at FOX where apparently they don't even look at their own video, I caught some yapping head just gushing about the Bush hammer photo-op. That FOX Bush hero worshipper compared his hammering to his ranch brush clearing as if neither are photo-ops. Sometimes I wonder why FOX News doesn't place a statue of Bush in their studio and open each hour with a bowed down prayer to their God-idol Bush. At least then I could know their bias comes from the heart.

The Bush hammer time was at a project of Habitat for Humanity, a Jimmy Carter founded project. This is the second time in the last month that Bush has channeled Carter. Prior to his hammer photo-op, Bush had suggested to Americans that we conserve energy by only driving our cars when necessary. (Compare this to the days after 9/11 when he told us to go shopping). He also said he was directing the White House to find ways to conserve energy in that building. Flashback to Carter wearing sweaters in the White House back in the 1970s because of the energy conservation proposed because of the OPEC oil embargo.

I'm beginning to think Bush is a bit multiple personality as he likes to compare himself to previous presidents. For instance, the day that New Orleans was being flooded, Bush was in San Diego giving a speech about Iraq where he compared the Iraq War to World War II and himself to Franklin Roosevelt. In the past he has compared himself to Ronald Reagan. He likes to call for a strict reading of the Constitution, harking back to our founding fathers. He seems to see himself in many past presidents except oddly his own father (at least publicly). He's also mentioned Harry Truman as well. Funny how he's been picking past Democratic Party presidents to channel.

Truthfully, if I had a hammer, I'd be tempted to hammer nails into a box that contained Bush. At least we wouldn't have to view more blantantly obvious photo-ops.

Here's the The Letterman top ten about Bush's hammer exhibition.

Top Ten Thoughts Going Through George W. Bush's Mind At This Moment (clip showing Bush hammering).

10. "This should make up for me waiting a week to respond to the hurricane"
9. "Dang, this is fun--I should bring a hammer to cabinet meetings"
8. "Why won't they let me handle the power tools?"
7. "Great, another thing I'm not good at"
6. "This is the kind of thing we should be paying Halliburton 800 bucks an hour to do"
5. "Do I get to keep the hard hat?"
4. "It's Hammer Time!"
3. "I've got to finish pretending to build a house so I can go pretend to comfort people"
2. "Georgie's gonna need another five weeks off"
1. "Only thing Clinton ever nailed was that hefty intern"


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