Picture an Armpit
Recently I played a practical joke that I thought was fairly minor but turned out to be a big laugh.
The 17 year old's new cell phone is one with picture taking capabilities. He had left it around and his mom decided to take a few pictures to load into it as a surprise to him. She pointed it at me and I did the old hand blocking tactic to avoid my face as a subject. I convinced her to instead photograph my armpit (I was wearing a tank top at the time). She took the armpit portrait and I proceeded to forget all about it.
Days later they went to a Red Wing exhibition game and sitting in the stands that's when the kid finally looked at his loaded pictures (probably was taking a few shots at the game). His mom described to me the look that came over his face as a combination of horror and anger. Apparently he didn't much like the picture and began thinking of who might have gotten ahold of his phone and done this.
It was just a picture of an armpit or was it? At the time of the original photo taking I hadn't looked real close at the results or had easily recognized that it looked like an armpit because that's what my eyes had expected. But to someone interpretting the shot it didn't look so much like an armpit as something else. How do I put this delicately? I can't. The picture appeared to be of an asshole.
So you can imagine now that most people would be in shock and anger finding a picture of a feces disposal opening in their phone. The kid was thinking fast of "friends" of his that might have done this to him. He was also considering what he might do to the person once he figured out who it was that left such a crappy photo joke.
Thinking like a crime scene investigator like most of us do once we find we need to track down who is responsible for something, he realized quickly that it had to be a picture of an asshole of a white "friend" rather than his friends of color. I had to wonder whether he considered that he might have to try to get his suspects to pose for comparisons to the anus shot in his phone. I could just picture him holding his phone and telling his friends to drop their pants.
At the game his mom finally began to understand what was going on in his mind as he began explaining his feelings to his brother and realized she had some 'splainin' to do! She patiently told him of the incident that begat the poophole/armpit picture, careful to not put too much blame on me. She did agree to take the picture, I'd think she's mostly to blame. Finally he understood it was harmless and began to find the humor of the situation.
When they returned from the game, his brother the innocent bystander in all this related the reactions to me. "He thought my armpit was an asshole?" I was incredulous. But boy did I start laughing. I couldn't stop it tickled me so much. Then it dawned on me, my armpits apparently don't look like armpits, at least on a picture phone. I didn't quite believe that and wanted to see the picture, but alas he had deleted it from his phone.
I'm not sure which is more true, that these cell phone pictures aren't of very good quality or that my armpits are more gross looking than I had previously suspected. I've since wondered what it would be like to be able to deficate from my armpits, how much easier it might be to simply raise my arms and drop my load. I suppose that flexing the arm muscle would produce quicker results.
The moral of the story is..., there IS no moral, but it's funny. This practical joke is not something I would recommend, but..., well, sure go ahead and try it. But check your armpit picture and make sure it either looks like an armpit (for the more proper practical joke) or make sure it looks like an hairly anus (for the more bad boy version). I suppose to be completely accurate you could drop your pants and photograph the real thing. But you didn't hear that from me?
The 17 year old's new cell phone is one with picture taking capabilities. He had left it around and his mom decided to take a few pictures to load into it as a surprise to him. She pointed it at me and I did the old hand blocking tactic to avoid my face as a subject. I convinced her to instead photograph my armpit (I was wearing a tank top at the time). She took the armpit portrait and I proceeded to forget all about it.
Days later they went to a Red Wing exhibition game and sitting in the stands that's when the kid finally looked at his loaded pictures (probably was taking a few shots at the game). His mom described to me the look that came over his face as a combination of horror and anger. Apparently he didn't much like the picture and began thinking of who might have gotten ahold of his phone and done this.
It was just a picture of an armpit or was it? At the time of the original photo taking I hadn't looked real close at the results or had easily recognized that it looked like an armpit because that's what my eyes had expected. But to someone interpretting the shot it didn't look so much like an armpit as something else. How do I put this delicately? I can't. The picture appeared to be of an asshole.
So you can imagine now that most people would be in shock and anger finding a picture of a feces disposal opening in their phone. The kid was thinking fast of "friends" of his that might have done this to him. He was also considering what he might do to the person once he figured out who it was that left such a crappy photo joke.
Thinking like a crime scene investigator like most of us do once we find we need to track down who is responsible for something, he realized quickly that it had to be a picture of an asshole of a white "friend" rather than his friends of color. I had to wonder whether he considered that he might have to try to get his suspects to pose for comparisons to the anus shot in his phone. I could just picture him holding his phone and telling his friends to drop their pants.
At the game his mom finally began to understand what was going on in his mind as he began explaining his feelings to his brother and realized she had some 'splainin' to do! She patiently told him of the incident that begat the poophole/armpit picture, careful to not put too much blame on me. She did agree to take the picture, I'd think she's mostly to blame. Finally he understood it was harmless and began to find the humor of the situation.
When they returned from the game, his brother the innocent bystander in all this related the reactions to me. "He thought my armpit was an asshole?" I was incredulous. But boy did I start laughing. I couldn't stop it tickled me so much. Then it dawned on me, my armpits apparently don't look like armpits, at least on a picture phone. I didn't quite believe that and wanted to see the picture, but alas he had deleted it from his phone.
I'm not sure which is more true, that these cell phone pictures aren't of very good quality or that my armpits are more gross looking than I had previously suspected. I've since wondered what it would be like to be able to deficate from my armpits, how much easier it might be to simply raise my arms and drop my load. I suppose that flexing the arm muscle would produce quicker results.
The moral of the story is..., there IS no moral, but it's funny. This practical joke is not something I would recommend, but..., well, sure go ahead and try it. But check your armpit picture and make sure it either looks like an armpit (for the more proper practical joke) or make sure it looks like an hairly anus (for the more bad boy version). I suppose to be completely accurate you could drop your pants and photograph the real thing. But you didn't hear that from me?
posted by jon at 6:26 AM
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